DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE SEASON FINALE OF GOSSIP GIRL SEASON 3. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Some of you might know who Jahandad Khan is. He usually sits somewhere in the middle during class and is often found punching away furiously at his calculator. He walks in college with a one sling bag draped over his shoulder, wears thick black framed glasses, often wears a cap and sometimes wears a bright orange shirt. He is your typical hardworking student; the one who takes all the notes and does all the assignments. He’s an optimist and always tries to see the good in people. In a nutshell, Jahandad Khan is a sweet and kind person; one of the good guys.
Or so I thought!
All of this ‘I’m so nice, I will give you my left arm incase of an emergency’ image of Jahandad Khan was out the door the day of our Investment Banking and Security Analysis exam. Now, it’s no secret that Finance is not my thing (just ask Asad Noman and he will gladly tell you so) so I was fretting over this exam out of all my courses this semester the most. To top it off, our teacher announced that there would be relative grading (which I found out later wasn’t the case but still!) which means that if the entire class does well, people like me are basically screwed. This is was why I had more reason to fret not to mention my class was full of people like Asad Noman, Rameez Jehangir, Taha Saleem, White Boy, MBA Boy, another Taha Boy, Smart Boy who sits in the front and Really Annoying Smart Girl up front (the ones who ask a lot of questions from the teacher at the end of the class after attendance when you have one foot out the door waiting to run out.) I had even gone to a wedding simply because Taha Saleem would be coming there too and he could explain the handout to me. Yes, I was willing to be deemed a ‘social outcast’ and a ‘loser nerd’ by my cousins if it meant that I would somehow figure the handout out and pass! Anyway, these people obviously had been studying every chance they got for the big exam; I think I saw a couple of them carrying the brick of a textbook in college and nobody carries that book if they’re not going to study from it; just holding it adds five more kilograms to your weight! So yeah, I was screwed.
But little did I know that it wasn’t going to be oily French fries that were going to ruin my life. It wasn’t even Usman Iqbal’s incomprehensive jokes. It was going to be the man in the orange shirt, which most people would trust their life with. Life is very ironic.
“Psst! Jahandad! Question 3; do we accept the project or reject?”
“I think…”
“Reject right?”
“Yeaaah”
“…and NPV? Negative?”
“Han, han. Yeah!”
“Great!”
As usual, someone invigilating sees me and changes my seat. I continue on with the exam thinking at least I got one numerical sum down right. I mean obviously hardworking Jahandad cannot be wrong plus he hangs out with Rameez and Asad and he sort of even knows White Boy! No one that well connected could be wrong about this. I stumble with the next few questions on my own and grudgingly hand back my paper; at least the exam is over. I walk down the stairs feeling rather fond of Jahandad Khan but I felt too soon.
Me: Asad! How was it?!
Asad Noman: Haan yaar, it was alright
Me: What about question 3? We rejected right? [I was smiling from ear to ear at this point]
Asad Noman: Uhh…No, we accept it. That was fairly simple Rida
Saba Owais: OH MY GOD RIDA! DIE, that was so easy!
Me: …
Asad Noman: What made you write it the other way?
Me: TRY JAHANDAD KHAN
Jahandad walks down the stairs looking content. But not for long! I immediately demand an explanation and hear something that makes this whole experience even worse. Jahandad Khan changed his answer at the last minute through some awesome epiphany he experienced after my seat got changed.
Jahandad Khan, if you are reading this, I should let you know that I stopped writing this because I was I couldn’t bear to anymore because of the seriousness of this injustice! But that was last semester and this is the summer semester so I have recovered. I know how traumatic this experience has been for me; sleepless nights have been spent obsessing about that damn NPV and why Dan Humphrey would want to get back together with Serena Waderwoodsen but that is, again, beside the point! I know everyone reading this feels my pain. But it’s alright; Jahandad Khan has been given another chance by God to redeem himself: He is with me in Portfolio Management. Amen.
Some of you might know who Jahandad Khan is. He usually sits somewhere in the middle during class and is often found punching away furiously at his calculator. He walks in college with a one sling bag draped over his shoulder, wears thick black framed glasses, often wears a cap and sometimes wears a bright orange shirt. He is your typical hardworking student; the one who takes all the notes and does all the assignments. He’s an optimist and always tries to see the good in people. In a nutshell, Jahandad Khan is a sweet and kind person; one of the good guys.
Or so I thought!
All of this ‘I’m so nice, I will give you my left arm incase of an emergency’ image of Jahandad Khan was out the door the day of our Investment Banking and Security Analysis exam. Now, it’s no secret that Finance is not my thing (just ask Asad Noman and he will gladly tell you so) so I was fretting over this exam out of all my courses this semester the most. To top it off, our teacher announced that there would be relative grading (which I found out later wasn’t the case but still!) which means that if the entire class does well, people like me are basically screwed. This is was why I had more reason to fret not to mention my class was full of people like Asad Noman, Rameez Jehangir, Taha Saleem, White Boy, MBA Boy, another Taha Boy, Smart Boy who sits in the front and Really Annoying Smart Girl up front (the ones who ask a lot of questions from the teacher at the end of the class after attendance when you have one foot out the door waiting to run out.) I had even gone to a wedding simply because Taha Saleem would be coming there too and he could explain the handout to me. Yes, I was willing to be deemed a ‘social outcast’ and a ‘loser nerd’ by my cousins if it meant that I would somehow figure the handout out and pass! Anyway, these people obviously had been studying every chance they got for the big exam; I think I saw a couple of them carrying the brick of a textbook in college and nobody carries that book if they’re not going to study from it; just holding it adds five more kilograms to your weight! So yeah, I was screwed.
But little did I know that it wasn’t going to be oily French fries that were going to ruin my life. It wasn’t even Usman Iqbal’s incomprehensive jokes. It was going to be the man in the orange shirt, which most people would trust their life with. Life is very ironic.
“Psst! Jahandad! Question 3; do we accept the project or reject?”
“I think…”
“Reject right?”
“Yeaaah”
“…and NPV? Negative?”
“Han, han. Yeah!”
“Great!”
As usual, someone invigilating sees me and changes my seat. I continue on with the exam thinking at least I got one numerical sum down right. I mean obviously hardworking Jahandad cannot be wrong plus he hangs out with Rameez and Asad and he sort of even knows White Boy! No one that well connected could be wrong about this. I stumble with the next few questions on my own and grudgingly hand back my paper; at least the exam is over. I walk down the stairs feeling rather fond of Jahandad Khan but I felt too soon.
Me: Asad! How was it?!
Asad Noman: Haan yaar, it was alright
Me: What about question 3? We rejected right? [I was smiling from ear to ear at this point]
Asad Noman: Uhh…No, we accept it. That was fairly simple Rida
Saba Owais: OH MY GOD RIDA! DIE, that was so easy!
Me: …
Asad Noman: What made you write it the other way?
Me: TRY JAHANDAD KHAN
Jahandad walks down the stairs looking content. But not for long! I immediately demand an explanation and hear something that makes this whole experience even worse. Jahandad Khan changed his answer at the last minute through some awesome epiphany he experienced after my seat got changed.
Jahandad Khan, if you are reading this, I should let you know that I stopped writing this because I was I couldn’t bear to anymore because of the seriousness of this injustice! But that was last semester and this is the summer semester so I have recovered. I know how traumatic this experience has been for me; sleepless nights have been spent obsessing about that damn NPV and why Dan Humphrey would want to get back together with Serena Waderwoodsen but that is, again, beside the point! I know everyone reading this feels my pain. But it’s alright; Jahandad Khan has been given another chance by God to redeem himself: He is with me in Portfolio Management. Amen.
No comments:
Post a Comment