How to survive in the world of advertising

1. Point out things that do not matter and make a big deal about it

For example, the shade of red on a poster needs to be the "right" red. If it is not red enough, you must huff and puff, throw your fists in the air, stare down at the graphics guy and act heartbroken in front of the top management. The management MUST know you are losing sleep, have dark circles under your eyes and are absolutely appalled at the stupid colorblind graphics dude for not getting the red right! I mean WHO DOES THAT!? 


2. Re-do everything

This will really get you far. After taking feedback from your supervisors, re-do the design (that took the graphics dude 20,000 hours to produce) with changes to the design that probably won't make much difference to begin with. Staring him down will help too. 




3. Hold a meeting

Can't decide whether the background should be blue or dark blue? Hold a meeting. Is the header on the website too big? Hold a meeting. Was there a spelling error in a presentation of a total of 118 slides? Hold a meeting. Having a mid life crisis? Hold a meeting. Also, make sure the meeting lasts a good 2-3 hours with a whole lot of quotes about life.

4. Make a presentation

Want to communicate with anybody else in the office? Make a presentation. I mean seriously - want to suggest where to have lunch? Make a detailed presentation outlining the pros and cons of 50 places to eat. With pictures. Want to tell the client you can't make it to the meeting? Promptly engage all employees (who could be doing something more worthwhile with their time such as ACTUAL WORK) into preparing this presentation and then sending it out. Feeling like green as pigeon shit with a toe swollen the size of Russia? That's right, make a damn presentation about it.

Happy selling!